I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
