i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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