Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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