Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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