No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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