What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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