You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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