He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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