the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She told me I should be a condom model.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We need a shit load of segways right now
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
