TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize