didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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