She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize