Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
