Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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