loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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