Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
