everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
