so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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