Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
