What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He has the fingertips of a God
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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