I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
They took my balls.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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