After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I am available for nakedness
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
