I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
