Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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