the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
