Your dad touched me again.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
