Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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