I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
