Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
