To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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