Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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