just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
