saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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