Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
