im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
