I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
