Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
