woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
