Sponge bath it is.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
