im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
im holly from the hills drunk
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
