Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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