let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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