so explain again why im purple
no
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
