Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
