youre lurking in front of me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
