well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
