I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
