there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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