Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
