I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
