I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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