Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
