I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
