Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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