your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
