Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i drank out of a bidet.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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