so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
