I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This baby is an asshole
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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