He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
is wine microwaveable?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
