Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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