Can Purell be used as lube?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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